Of course, I’m not really talking about color here, am I? It’s an allegory, a literary trick. The Sneetches isn’t about stars on bellies, it’s about race. By now, you may have an inkling of what color actually represents. If not, here’s the big reveal:

Red functions are asynchronous ones.

If you’re programming in JavaScript on Node.js, everytime you define a function that “returns” a value by invoking a callback, you just made a red function. Look back at that list of rules and see how my metaphor stacks up:

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When people talk about “callback hell” they’re talking about how annoying it is to have red functions in their language. When they create 4,089 libraries for doing asynchronous programming, they’re trying to cope at the library level with a problem that the language foisted onto them.

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But if you have threads (green- or OS-level), you don’t need to do that. You can just suspend the entire thread and hop straight back to the OS or event loop without having to return from all of those functions.

Go is the language that does this most beautifully in my opinion. As soon as you do any IO operation, it just parks that goroutine and resumes any other ones that aren’t blocked on IO.